GODBE, 2007

Today I'm a living dictionary. I've been spouting off words that eople say are big, but I've used them before. I suppose they're just now noticing it.My sister says, when we get to church, "I got a epiphany!" and thens he says "Wait, what's an epiphany?" and I reply, quickly, "A sudden moment of clarity and truth." and my dad blinks and says "Wow, that's a good definition." "I read the dictionary." I replied, lol.But something hit me this morning before church started...I almost didn't make it through this year. I've asked several people if I could come live with them, I have packed my bags and sat in my car several times, all at the beginning of the year though, lol. I saved up money and swore I'd leave,I wrote notes, letters telling people how I felt about them and why I was leaving, but I never did. If I had, what would ahve happened?I don't even want to think about it. I'm just glad I didn't...I mean...my step-dad abused my mom, emotionally and mentally, and my little brother and I had to watch it. She didn't tell us, on the contrary, we were trying to convince her to leave him. She was so close to giving up...I am so thankful that none of us gave up. Where would we be if one of all of us gave up? If I had given up, my mother would probably be i an institution, along with Lon, and my brother at the mercy of relatives. Or if mom had given up, I would be seperated from my little brother possibly indefinently. That would kill me.Anyone who knows me knows what I've been through, and what it has done to me. Some people argue "That's a part of life." Well, not for everyone. Not everyone can take it. Not everyone chooses to keep going. Not everyone has the strength God is allowing them to have to get through it.But I know that 2007 has prepared me for 2008, or possibly 2009+. This year has been horrible, and yet absoloutly wonderful at the same time. My mom left the dictator that was her husband, my brother's father, and found a man that loves her and DOESN'T freak out on her when the scissors are lost, or isn't an alchoholic. He doesn't berate us if we do something better than him or make us feel like we're horrible.I harbored so much hate for Lon, but now it's gone and I just feel...pity. And a small feeling of disgust, because he still tries to trick us. We know better, and will keep our guard up in the future.It's just sad that it took me a whole year to thank God for the hardships He's put me through. I DO love God, but sometimes my pain is used as an excuse to not see Him when He's here for me. He never left, and I knew that. I always knew He'd be there when I came back, ad here He is.Goodbye, 2007. Thank you, but good riddance XD