I think the sky must know...

I just realized that I've never had the "We're just friends, nothing more" talk with any guy. I guess with me it's implied.

It still, for some reason, hurts a lot that I've never been romantically pursued by a guy. It's like, okay, well, my FAMILY thinks I'm pretty. My FAMILY thinks I'm smart. My FAMILY thinks I'm a great catch.

So, like...what? Does that mean for the rest of my life, nobody but my family is gonna think that I'm a great girl?

I just don't think it's fair that I'm gonna spend allot of my life hearing how great I am with no results. I'm trying to fix myself up, I'm trying to make myself more appealing, I'm flirting (very subtly though. Outright throwing yourself at a guy is just pathetic.) a teensy bit. I feel bad for doing that, but I don't flirt with guys I have no interest in. I only flirt so little that the guy doesn't consider it flirting. But I do.

I just realized how many times I said the word "I". Yikes.

It's pouring down outside right now. I just wanna go outside and stand in the rain. Benjamin has been stuck in ym head for like a week.

"Rain falls outside...I think the sky must know what's happening tonight..."